Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize