the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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