ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
