in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
And then my night got REAL pukey
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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