he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
We need to get me chipped asap
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
