Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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