We're like a lot better than the average bears
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
