Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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