we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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