the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize