just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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