id be glad to
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
