i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
