Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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