I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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