We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
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