I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
