you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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