My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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