By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
It's rum buckets o'clock
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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