lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
