hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
