if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
