My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
