very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Randomize
