The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
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