Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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