She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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