I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
