I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
