jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
