is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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