So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
