Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize