she kept yelling 'call me bella'
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
