Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
