is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
