My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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