Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
