I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize