She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
