My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Everything about him screamed your future.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
