btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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