..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
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