Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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