oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
