put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
