So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize