I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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