I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
