mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
