Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
