shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
