So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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