I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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