Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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