i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
