once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you will always have a special place in my vag
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
