shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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