the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
