my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
