just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
