No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
