TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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