what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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